I really dont know why all of a sudden, I have the means to write again on this blog. Its been very long since I abandon it. It seems like the spirit of doing it only last 2 months. Its not about being burn out or losing passion. I guess its more of disciplining ourselves in doing something. I was thinking of closing this blog but my wife often told me not do so. She had such fond memory of we getting to know each other back then when i was like so passionate about this blog. By the way, the whole saga of me leaving the Naqshbandi Haqqani is like as if i had apostate. Old friends left me, some tried to convince me to return. Well, there are those who mocked you, hurt you with their sms. I find it strange and weird when people decide to change their path, there are people who will go above higher than even to Allah and saying, you will be curse, you will be leading a downfall and the list of negative statements and remarks goes on and on. Tariqah is becoming more of a cult than a spiritual path.
This incident awake me from being slumber all this while. It make me keep thinking again and again, whats the purpose of being in a Tariqah. Is it because to have the sense of belonging to a group? is it to show people you are majority? is to inform people you are better though you try to conduct yourself with humility? Or is it to tell the whole world your shaykh is the best and highest among other Shaykh? Now, its a reality check. I cant blame those who dont understand what Tariqah is about having bad impression on Tariqah due to the people who claim to practice tariqah with no adab and let alone Akhlaq. I cant say much, people see what you are doing and its reflecting to them in many ways, its not right.
My views about Tariqah and tasawuf had completely change when I begin to discover about other Tariqah such as Tijaniyah, Shadhiliyah, Badawiyyah and many more but this doesnt mean the ones i know before are wrong or deviate. Its not about which Tariqah is the best, the last one, the pure one neither its about Imam Mehdi or whose shaykh is Sultanul awliyah. Tariqah is about completing our daily wirid and awrad without trying not to miss it and doing it consistently, if not whats the point of being in the Tariqah if you cant even complete the wirid and awrad consistently. It doesnt help you. A car cant move its engine if it doesnt have oil to refine it and making it into energy. Whats the point of being with a shaykh all the time and yet you failed to do your awrad and wirid daily too? Its like you are making yourself close with your boss and yet you dont work and expect salary, worst still a bonus from him or her. Its dillusion, we are not a cheerleader to cheer for the shaykh, what we want is to be a real seeker. And the real one seek the light...At the end of the path and our last breath, we want is the reality of Prophet s.a.w. and Allah swt and this is why we are in Tariqah. Other than this is all hidden shirk with other intentions beside Allah and his Beloved Prophet s.a.w. may Allah bless you and forgive me, a poor servant.
